Fake Spring Break


Today is the first day of Spring Break.

It’s been spitting snow all day.

It was 38 degrees.

The wind chill was 28 degrees. In Alabama.

I had to get our taxes done.

We have to get a new AC/Heating unit put in later this week. (The one that’s kaput is only 5 years old.)

If I had thought this through, I would have gotten my sister, and we would have gone to her condo in Florida after I rescheduled the above tasks.

Sea Oats

On the upside, we are getting a tax refund. Nice, since it’s our money anyway.

How has your first day of Spring Break been?

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What Men Know That Women Don’t


English: A backpack leaf blower

A backpack leaf blower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes the difference between men and women becomes crystal clear to me.

DH and I helped out friends today by blowing the leaves off their driveway, walkways, and patio. The leaf blower ran out of gas, and instead of just refilling it with gas, DH had to mix up a concoction of oil and gas.

On the way home, we had this conversation:

Me: “Why can’t you just put gas in a leaf blower? Why does it have to be oil & gas mixed together?”

DH: “Because a leaf blower has a 2 cycle engine.”

Silence.

Me: “Well. I know so much more than I did.”

DH gathering his thoughts.

DH: “Cars, and lawn mowers for that matter, have 4 cycle engines which means that they . . . and the square root of 25 is 5 and pi can carry to infinity and the astronauts didn’t overshoot the moon because the quadrant of quantum leaps equals supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which lubricates the internal engine . . . and that’s why you have to mix the oil & gas in a 2 cycle motor and not a 4 cycle motor.”

More silence.

Me: “Ah. Thanks, Dear. It’s clear to me now.”

He gave a great explanation, really, but I still have no clue except that I’d be scared to death to mix oil and gas for fear of blowing up the garage. I am amazed that he just knows this as a matter of fact.

I Knew Better, and Now I’ve Got Homework


My colleagues gave me homework today. Humph. What did they give me for homework, and why, you may ask, did they give it to me when I am the one who should be dishing it out?

Well, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s been three months and six days since my last blog. I was on a roll for a very long time of writing a blog every single day. I always knew if I ever skipped a day, I would fall down the slippery slope of non commitment, and that, my friends, is exactly what happened. A day, here, a day, there, and before I knew it, I wasn’t writing at all.

Thanks to those dear homework assigners, I am climbing back up on the proverbial horse and will start writing again. It’s the least I can do.

I could tell you that I didn’t write because it’s been hot. That would be the truth as it has been hot as Hades in Alabama this summer–so hot I couldn’t even stand to go geocaching. However, I do have air conditioning.

I could tell you that I didn’t write because I’ve been off. That would be the truth, too. I will tell you that I have discovered that long stretches of being off for me does not cause me to be more productive–it has quite the opposite effect. With all that time looming before me, I find that I can procrastinate till the cows come home and then some.

I could tell you that I didn’t write because my muse left me, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have one. I’m just a pound it out at the keyboard kinda gal. 

I could tell you that I didn’t write because the Music of the Spheres quit playing, but that would just be a lie since I’ve never heard them play.

I could tell you that I didn’t write because someone told me that my writing sucked, but that’s not true because apparently some of you actually like to read it.

What I can tell you is that I started reading advice like don’t blog more that once a week, stick to one topic, have a set schedule, always include a photo to make it more interesting . . .

I started over thinking the whole deal.

Oh, and I got lazy.

Dear Readers, with that I have fulfilled my homework assignment for tonight, and I plan to pound the keyboard regularly once again.

Scissor Happy


Do you see that? That is what I pulled out of the dishwasher today. Five pairs of scissors.

Count ’em. 5. F. I. V. E. Five.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and bet that most of you have never ever had cause to run that many pairs of scissors through your dishwasher. In fact, I’ll bet some of you have never even run one single pair of scissors ever through your dishwasher.

What can I say? We are scissor happy here.

I can’t even remember what we used all the scissors for yesterday, but here’s a guess.

From left to right:

The snub-nosed red pair is the pair of choice for cutting herbs, but I’m pretty sure DH used them for deadheading the knock-out roses.

The orange-handled pair has been in this household forever. They may have been used for cutting open a package or trimming meat.

The black pair in the middle got the honor of hacking up chicken wings that DH cooked us for supper.

The kiddie scissors got the herb honors as I used them to cut sage for DH to put in hash he was cooking.

The last, fifth, pair of black scissors had a mystery purpose. Neither of us can remember just what they were used for yesterday.

So tell me–have you ever sent that many scissors through your dishwasher at once? What did you use them for?

We surely can’t be the only scissor happy couple on the planet!

WWE: A Few Observations


First of all, let me make it VERY clear that I am NOT a fan of WWE. DH loves it as a stress reliever for him, and that’s all fine and dandy. Since he IS a fan, I *get* to watch it or listen to it from another room every single Monday night. Therefore, I posit the following observations.

The Women–I predict that they will have a much shorter shelf life than the “wrestlers” on the show due to the fact that no matter how much plastic surgery they have, they will be tossed aside when they reach that not-so-magic old lady age. That would be about 35 in Hollywood years.

The Wrestlers–This is a term I use VERY loosely since I went to actual wrestling matches in high school, watched actual wrestlers, and found it to be a fascinating sport. WWE bears zero resemblance to what I saw then.

WWE Champion John Cena presents the 2.6 millio...

WWE Champion John Cena presents the 2.6 millionth card received by ASY group A Million Thanks to Army 1st Lt. Shannon Terry as part of the WWE’s “Tribute to the Troops” tour of Iraq. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Belt–Is it big enough?

The Clothes–Men in panties. Um. Okay.

The Dude Pretending To Be Irish–I’ve heard of tanning beds, but where on earth do you find a whitening bed? This guy’s skin is preternaturally white. I mean really–is there a whitening bed somewhere that I don’t know about? And what about that flaming red hair? I’m pretty sure it’s not what God gave him.

Hulk Hogan joined TNA in late 2009.

Hulk Hogan joined TNA in late 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Waxing–How on earth did they talk these guys into waxing their ENTIRE bodies?

THE STAR–Currently THE STAR seems to be John Cena. Just how does one achieve that lofty status? I remember Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper,  but seriously that’s about it. I know those guys are too old to play with the young boys now, but what warrants the crown?

The Announcer(s)–The only qualification I can see for this position is to be VERY loud and annoying.

So there you have it–my few observations on WWE. I know I left many players out, but this will do for now.

We Just Think We’re Driving


Today when I was driving to work, I saw a little boy driving a riding lawn mower.

Of course, he wasn’t really driving. He was sitting in his pawpaw’s lap and steering the mower with pawpaw at the ready to save the day if Junior made a wrong turn or veered off on the wrong path.

I kinda think it’s like that in our own lives. We just think we’re driving when really Father God has us in His lap letting us think we’re in control when really he’s in the driver’s seat all the time.

I think I like that whether it’s completely accurate theology or not.

Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven, but Nobody Wants To Die


I don’t think I’ve ever heard truer lyrics than these.

You can listen here:

Alison Krauss & The Cox Family

Here are the lyrics:

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die

Once upon a time there lived a man and his name was Hezekiah.
He walked with God both day and night, but he didn’t wanna die.
He cried “Oh Lord, please let me live,
death is close I know” God smiled down on Hezekiah;
he give him fifteen years to go

(chorus)
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Lord I wanna go to Heaven, but I don’t wanna die.
Well, I long for the day when I’ll have new birth, but I like livin’ here on earth,
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die

When Jesus lived here on this earth, he knew his Father’s plan.
He knew that he must give his life to save the soul of man.
When Judas had betrayed him, his Father heard him cry,
He was brave until his death but he didn’t wanna die, Oh

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Lord I wanna go to Heaven, but I don’t wanna die.
Well, I long for the day when I’ll have new birth, but I like livin’ here on earth,
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die, Hey

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Lord I wanna go to Heaven, but I don’t wanna die.
Well, I long for the day when I’ll have new birth, but I like livin’ here on earth,
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die