Where Old People Gather

I don’t know about where you live, but where I live, we have an old people mecca. It’s called Jack’s. Old people congregate there in droves every morning.

As I was pulling through the ridiculously long drive thru this morning, I was looking through the window halfway longingly wondering what it must be like to sit and yak over coffee for as long as I wanted. Then, reality snapped me back when I realized that if I could do that, I would be at a place in my life I’m not quite ready for yet.

I kid you not when I tell you that every single parking place in the lot was full. Here’s how full it was–a really old man, after unsuccessfully trying to find a parking place, pulled his car beside the dumpster in the back of the building. He got out of his car and verrry slooowly shuffled toward the door. That’s some dedication to the morning social hour right there.

On a different old people note, later in the day I was at Cracker Barrel. I know, I know–lots of eating out today. Anyway, while I was there I looked in amazement as the hostess led two very old people all the way across the restaurant to seat them. Actually, the two old people each had a person leading them as they crept across the floor. Now really, couldn’t that hostess find these folks a table closer to the entrance? I watched them walk by at least four empty tables.

In case you didn’t know, old is defined as anybody 15 years older than you are. Following that reasoning, if you are 18, old to you is somebody that is 33. If you are 40, old is 55. If you are 50, old is 65. If you are 55–oh, you get the picture. I guess what I’m saying is that if you think somebody is old, just wait a minute–you’ll be there soon enough.

DH and I found ourselves in the midst of a different old people magnet one Christmas when we made the mistake of going out to eat. At the place we chose, seriously, everybody there but us was 80+. They came in on canes, walkers, and in wheelchairs. After watching that geriatric parade for the duration of our meal, DH announced that we had to get out of that depressing place.

I’m glad there are gathering places for old people retirees, and I’m sure I’ll be amongst them one day, but for now, I’m glad I have a job to get to with no time to linger over coffee for very long.


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