Handblower Hate


A Dyson Airblade hand dryer in California.

Image via Wikipedia

It’s official. I hate handblowers. You know, those goofy things that they put in restrooms now in an attempt to save the Earth from destruction by our using paper towels to dry our hands.

I mean, come on. Just how much electricity does it take anyway to blast that inefficient air on my hands? If the air were hot it might actually dry my hands, but more often than not the air is cold and won’t dry a fly’s wings, much less drippy hands.

I hate them so much that if I think about it, I’ll bring toilet paper out of the stall with me so I’ll have actual paper to dry my hands with. Only problem with that is it falls apart and leaves little specks of TP debris on my hands.

My other option is to announce to anyone within earshot in the bathroom that I’ll use hand sanitizer when I get to the car. I’ve even had some women agree with me on that one.

Lulu’s in Gulf Shores has a super-charged blow-the-flesh-off-your-hands version of the wall-mounted hand dryer. (See above image.) Trembling, you slide your hands into the slots and an ear-deafening roar accompanies the hot air assaulting your hands. Miraculously, this thing actually dries your hands. My SIL loves it and made us all go try it out!

I still don’t like them. They all hurt my ears, and most of them are inefficient at best. I’m pretty sure hand sanitizer is my friend from now on.

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One Response to Handblower Hate

  1. BrainRants says:

    I dislike them also. To fight back, I bathe obsessively and then carefully refrain from either urinating or defecating on my hands, situation-dependent. Challenging for a spaz like me at times, but I’m getting there…

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